I used to always dread finding presents for dad. My father was one of the stoic types - I expect that most fathers are. Finding presents for dads who won't tell you what they want can be pretty difficult. I suppose that it was noble for him to say that he didn't need anything, but it makes things a little bit difficult around birthday time. I feel like a whole industry has sprung up as a result of the obstinacy of fathers. Knives, pocket watches, books about war, cuff links, and many other gifts for fathers sell in huge numbers to kids who have dads who won't ever ask for anything specific.

I think that the best presents for dad were books. My father was an avid reader and, if you could think of just the right book for him, his eyes would glow. He did not make it easy. Eventually, I realized that he had been dropping subtle hints now and then, but for years I could never catch them. The only way to find the right present for dad was to either ask my mom about it or just take a shot in the dark. If, however, I paid a lot of attention to what he was reading up on at the time, I could usually find something unconventional that he had never thought to ask for.

For example, when I was in my teens, my dad was going through a big phase having to do with the Native Americans. He read everything he could get his hands on about Indians. He was interested in the Indian wars, Indian culture before the arrival of Europeans, and in modern Native American culture on the reservations. That year, after talking to my siblings, we decided to get presents for dad having to do with Native Americans. We got him some books about some modern Native American leaders, a Kachina doll statue, and a knife with a picture of an eagle on it. We decide to get him all of the presents together so that, no matter which ones he liked and which ones he didn't like, he would appreciate all of our contributions equally.

You should have seen his face when he opened the gifts. With each one, his expression grew brighter and brighter. He always was happy with the presents for dad that we got him, but he was also ecstatic that we were all working together so well. My father always enjoyed seeing us cooperate.