We are in the stage of our lives where we are going to many weddings. Our children are finishing college and two of them are engaged. Many of their friends are getting married. Our home has always been the gathering spot for neighborhood kids and the friends of our children, so as these young adults get married they invite us to the weddings. Going to the different weddings has been a good way for our children and us to decide what we have liked and disliked, so we can plan the two that we have coming up in our family.

Of course one of the main things that I have noticed is the mother of the bride outfits. I have noticed at the different weddings that it is obvious if the mother of the bride and the mother of the groom share with each other what they are wearing, it is also obvious when they do not. In the cases when they coordinate efforts the mother of the bride outfits and mother of the groom outfits compliment each other as well as the apparel of the attendants. When the parties do not coordinate their choices, the outfits clash with each other and those of the attendants.

My daughter was an attendant in the wedding of one of her friends. The mother of the groom was upset through most of the planning stages for the wedding because her ideas were not chosen. The bride's mother called her to discuss what they would wear for the wedding and suggested that they go shopping together for mother of the bride outfits and mother of the groom dresses. The groom's mother went along, but refused to try on anything. The bride's mother selected one of the most beautiful mother of the bride outfits that I have ever seen. She looked wonderful and complimented the bridesmaid's dresses. The groom's mother decided to wear the same dress that the bridesmaid's wore, but in a slightly different shade. She was too old for the dress and much too heavy. Her attempt at looking young and being defiant to the bride back fired and she spent the day looking ridiculous.

Attending this wedding has taught me that the wedding days of my children are their days. I will support them and offer advice if it is asked for, however all the decisions need to be what they want. I will even let them decide on the mother of the bride outfits so that I will not embarrass them as their friend was embarrassed.